I want to beeeeee them.

Almost 2 years ago...

And now... I CAN'T BELIEVE that the wedding is 3 weeks away! And less really, because I count the beginning of wedding festivities (my mom arriving in DC on Tuesday the 17th) as the real beginning. Mom and I will hang out in DC Wednesday (we'll check out the zoo and my pool) before heading down to the 'burg. Thursday we have to get our marriage license, have a meeting with the caterer, massages and wine (courtesy of one soon-to-be husband :)) and finally the SATC movie and cosmos at ACarroll's. Woohooo! Friday I think we're hanging out with my dad for pics in CW, having coffee with Sandy (the priest and close friend), then lunch and nails followed by the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner! And then of course, Saturday will be packed full of fun activities with my bridesmaids, family and friends!!! I've told quite a few people that I'm really not nervous about anything...except about NOT being nervous. Seriously, I think 98% of everything is done and I just have a few tiny things (wrapping gifts, double checking times with vendors) to do in the coming weeks. Sigh. Yay!

About this post's title...a few weeks ago, Diego and I went to dinner for my cousin Amy's college graduation (she's a ROCKSTAR) and met some Rizzotto family friends, Brian and Caroline. And Diego and I are in love...or something :). They are this amazingly fun and put together couple, both W&M grads, they have an 18 month old son who is cute and really well behaved and they just have it all together! Amy and her BF and Diego and I are going over to B & C's tonight for a BBQ dinner and I'm pretty excited. First of all, my Ames is moving to CO for the summer and won't be at the wedding, so any time spent with her is always superb...and of course meeting the BOY...and hanging with B&C. Woop! I'm psyched. And hungry now too...hmm...

I know I've been really really bad about posting on here, and I should be better. I mean, I know that when I blog-stalk and there aren't new posts, I'm always disappointed! I'd love to know if you ever check out my blog...the only person I know of is Lizardbreath :). We're totally blog-stalking soul mates!!! Although that may change when she and her hubby have their baby girl in 2.5 weeks!!! OMG I'm so excited to meet her, probably a few days before the wedding. In all honesty, I may be more excited/worked up about meeting the new baby than the wedding (not that I'm not psyched for myself, but how AWESOME is the gift God gives in new life?????!!!). So...if you blog-stalk me, leave me a comment! Just FYI, I totally blog-stalk all the people linked to Liz's blog, as well as Eva and a few others (I HEART Google Reader because it tells me when updates are posted...although I still check manually...I'm laaaaame).

XO to you all. :)

Drizzling

I feel like the weather is a reflection of my mood. I'm just kind of blah today. Work is fine...things are a bit busier than normal (this is all relative, hence me writing a post to kill some time) with Aman gone. She's off on her honeymoon and I'm in charge of her work until she gets back in 2 weeks. But it's also a super-quiet time of the year. Apparently until like August, things will be chill. No complaints from me...well, maybe just that I'm bored. I have felt so torn lately between staying at this job because it's stable (um, anyone checked out our horrid economy lately?) and finding something else where I'd feel more fulfilled (I don't want to spend the little time I have on Earth unhappy for at least 8 hours every day). Holding pattern, here I come? My prayers have not yet been answered, at least not that I can tell, but really who am I to say? Maybe they have. I have ALWAYS struggled with patience and accepting things in God's time. I continue to struggle with this. A lot.

So, on to less depressing/frustrating topics...44 days!!!!!!! I really really really can't believe that the wedding is getting so close. We got engaged over a year and 9 months ago! Wow. I've been very pleased with how everything is falling into place and think that once the big day has arrived, I won't be too stressed because it will all be done. I think what I'm most excited about is the honeymoon!!! I just can't wait to be married and completely relax, not worrying about family, the apartment, med school (for Dieg), etc. etc. etc.

Until then, I'll be counting down...:)

Throwing it all away...

I am outraged. Really. I just saw one of the building's cleaning ladies in the women's restroom doing a normal clean. What bothered me is that I also saw her throwing away half used toilet paper roles. You may be thinking "who cares" or "I hate when the TP role is empty" but REALLY??? Is it REALLY necessary to chuck so much TP? I can't help but think about a few things:

1. The number of trees that could potentially be saved
2. The roll itself, made of cardboard, could be recycled
3. How much energy was wasted (in pre-, during- and post-production of that product)

UGH. I'm trying not to become a crazy person whose life is based on the three R's (reduce, reuse, recycle...duh), but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I want to help our environment, cut down on my own costs, become a well-informed consumer and prioritize my time and money. I think that all of these things are completely do-able, especially with the first R, reduce. I'm certainly not as dedicated as this guy but I certainly applaud his efforts.

Here are some of the things I do:

1. Cut down on my commute by working longer hours 4 days a week and not driving on Friday.
2. Wash my clothes in cold water.
3. Hang dry most of my clothes.
4. Use CFL bulbs.
5. Bring my lunch, in a reusable lunch box, reuse plastic bags, buy food in bulk (when I can), reuse water bottles and use a reusable mug for tea.

These are just a few, but I'd really like to find out more about and start:

1. Composting organic food scraps.
2. Grow our own herbs and a few veggies (do-able, even in a small apartment).
3. Buy 50%-75% of our food from local, organic sources (I HEART the farmer's market).
4. Drive even less; that means both for work and play.
5. Buy more second-hand items.

What do you do?

Believe?

I wrote the first half of this post a month ago...

I have heard for quite some time about the underground phenomenon that is the HBO series "The Wire." We didn't have HBO in Baltimore, so I never watched it but it came to have a cult following with a lot of the TFAers I know. So after some time away from Baltimore and out of the classroom, I think I can now check out the hype. My roommate Netflixed season 4, the one about the school system and we started watching it last week. Man did I get more than I bargained for.

Although I didn't teach in the worst part of town (the mayor lived about a mile and a half from our school) with horrible gang violence (although I did have a kid bring a gun into my classroom during my second year) like where the Wire kids live, within the first 5 minutes of season 4, I was hooked to the kids. Michael, Dukie and Namond (middle school boys) all struck such a chord with me. There is a scene within the first few episodes where a girl gets cut really badly with a box cutter in their classroom.

I flashed back to the earrings-off-hold-my-purse-I'm-going-to-kill-a-***** fights at Glenmount. That first year especially was full of more violence than I had ever seen, on TV or in real life. It was also full of more growth, learning and achievement than I ever expected in the precarious balance. I couldn't help wondering how my kids are doing...I've stayed in touch with a few and get updates from some of the teachers at the 'mount, but a large part of me wants to return to the day-to-day with them (or their younger counterparts, since they're all in or about to be in HS now).

I wonder what this year would have been like had I stayed in Baltimore. I wonder how my attitude would have changed, or not. I wonder...I must believe that my kids, and all the kids of Baltimore, will succeed and that maybe in some minuscule way I had a part in it. I don't, realistically, dream of Ph.D.'s or huge salaries for a lot of my kids. What I hope they have and believe they deserve are long, fulfilling lives. I really need to believe, especially when I watch the Wire, that Baltimore has not damaged them beyond the point of repair.

************************************************************************************

Flash forward to 4/8/08 - I found out early last week that one of my kids (yes, they will always be mine) had been killed in a car accident. Hi name is Mohsin. Mohsin was probably the brightest, most driven student I taught. He excelled academically but also in every other aspect of school and life. And it wasn't like Mohsin kept his nose crammed in a book. He was friends with Aaron, one of the "high-flyers" or disruptive kids...they played football together at recess and on weekends. A few of the other Glenmount teachers and I went to Mohsin's viewing (it was a Muslim affair, and very different than anything I've ever been to, especially in the South), and although it was difficult, I'm glad we did.

I feel like from the day I left Glenmount, I began mentally preparing myself for that dreaded call. And I guess I always expected that I would hear a different name...the name of a kid who had been traveling down a bad path and, well... Not Mohsin. With some distance and reflection, I think I am ready to take this lesson and continue forward. Life is short (and so we've been told over and over) and the end could be right around the corner (again, not the most revolutionary thought), but it is also sweet and moving. I want to live a bright life...a thankful life...a purposeful life. With my experiences over the past 24+ years as well as my two with crazy 7th graders in Baltimore, I now feel that I am on the path to do just that. Thank you Mohsin. Thank you Glenmount. Thank you Baltimore.